I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize