Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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