So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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