we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
is it fun? or sober?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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