is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
