okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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