She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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