tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
