what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
