..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
