If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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