Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
