Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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