but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
