Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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