My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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