I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
