no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
