You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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