So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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