i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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