I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
