well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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