WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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