I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And then my night got REAL pukey
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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