Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it glows. i had to have it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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