ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
