He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
