bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
