I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
