Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
