She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
