so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
