If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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