wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.