Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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