You're a womanizer and a bitch.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
