I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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