Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize