After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
