Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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