I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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