Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
