this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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