Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
