so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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