Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize