the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Panties = found
Randomize
