bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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