did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he thought i was a dude.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
