Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
