i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
