Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
