I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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