Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize