i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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