How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
