she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.