Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.