We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
