i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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