You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
