I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
