My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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