i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize