Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
