He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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