redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
