I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
