Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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