Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
